18 Reasons To Be Thankful You Didn't Get A Glastonbury Ticket

Published on Tuesday, 19 April 2016
1. You don't have to worry about finding a place to pitch your tent
2. You'll be able to see all the bands on the telly while sitting on the sofa instead of from your mate's shoulders
You only wanted to go for the music anyway, didn't you?
3. At no point will you have to have a girl on your shoulders
4. You don't have to mess around with a solar powered phone charger
5. No fighting your way through crowds
6. No fighting your way out of a mosh pit
7. The mud
8. The wet
9. You won't have to drag your kid around and smoke a massive spliff at the same time
10. You won't have a come down to deal with
11. People wont fuck with you in the morning
12. You don't have to worry about needing a piss after battling your way to the front of the stage
13. You won't have to use the blokes' toilets
14. Or have to use one of these
15. And risk this happening to you
16. You won't have to endure the queue home
17. There is a chance you will miss out on finding true love, though
18. It won't be like last time anyway
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