10 Perfect Responses To Someone Knocking On A Toilet Door When You're Mid-Poo

Published on Tuesday, 19 April 2016
As if shitting in a public toilet wasn’t a traumatising enough experiece without some unconscionable arsehole thinking it's acceptable to knock on the door when you're part way through your public poo. What does the person knocking expect you to do? Hurry up? Start speed-pooing? Do they think people sit in cubicles to unwind?
Well, for the benefit of everyone out there that has ever been rudely interrupted mid-poo, the New Age Man has devised a list of responses to shout the next time you get that anxiety inducing knock.
1. "Come in"'
2. "Hold on, I didn't cum yet"
3. “Who's there?”
4. “James is that you? did you bring the Oust and extra roll of toilet paper?”
5. Just knock back
6. "Could you give me a hand?"
7. "What's the password?"
8. "I'm pooping"
9. "I've been expecting you."
10. “Welcome to Pooland, can I take your order?”

If you want to see more stuff like this, like our Facebook page and we will beam it straight to your News Feed. Or don't, whatever.