New research by Sage, the human rights group named after the herb commonly used to flavour onion stuffing, has revealed that the real reason terrorists are becoming terrorists is because the security services are trying to stop them becoming terrorists.
"Is it any wonder that young westerners are travelling to Syria to cut off people's heads and burn people alive when they're being oppressed in their home countries simply for wanting to do away with a few infidels?" a Sage spokesman commented.
The Sage report states that vulnerable young men and women are being arbitrarily criminalised for trivial offences such as planning to carry out large scale terrorist attacks. "This is exactly what's driving them into the hands of groups like ISIS", the Sage spokesperson commented. He went on: "The so called 'victims of terrorism' and their so called 'families' are quick to whinge and moan about people having their heads cut off, whilst the real victims of terrorism - the terrorists - are demonised by mainstream media; made to feel guilty simply for expressing genuine grievances with western foreign policy. This has a terrible effect on their self-esteem and must be stopped."