Girl Shows No Sign Of Typing After Receiving WhatsApp Picture Of Man's Penis

Published on Wednesday, 19 March 2014

After sending a picture of his penis to a female friend on WhatsApp, Ben Davies, a 22 year old from Maidstone, was yet to receive a response at the time the New Age Man went to press.

A source close to Ben confirmed that he is struggling to understand why he has had no response as he has a perfectly smooth 7 inch penis which is big enough to look enticing but not so big that it looks threatening.

"Ben is just really confused right now", the source commented. "He sent the picture at 19.02, at which time the girl in question was "Online". Ben had expected the "Online" icon to immediately change to "typing..." and a few seconds later to receive a comment like "ooooo wow great pic", "what an exquisite phallus you have" or "OMG what a lovely cock lol". However, the icon didn't change to "typing..." and within approximately 30 seconds she was offline. She was last seen today at 19.03. It is now 20.43. Ben has considered filing a missing person report and sending out a search party, but thought he would give it another 10 minutes or so."

Exactly why Ben's female friend has not responded is unclear. The New Age Man spoke to Professor James Bingham, an expert in the field of why girls sometimes don't respond random pictures of penises, who commented: "What we have here is a case of a man who - from any objective standpoint - has a perfectly well proportioned and aesthetically pleasing penis. However, the provision of empirical evidence of this has elicited no response from this young lady whatsoever.

"Now, to those not so well versed in the art of communicating your interest in a prospective partner with with phallus themed pictures, this may well seem confusing. However, by looking at Ben's comments leading up to the sending of the picture, you can clearly see why there has been a breakdown.

Ben: "Heyyy how's things?"

Girl: "Not bad, you?"

Ben : "Yeah all good over here. Work going ok?"

Girl: Yeah really well. Got a promotion a few months ago"

Ben: [picture of Ben's erect penis]

Ben: You like?

Ben: It's quite smooth right?

Ben: ??

Ben:????

Girl: last seen today at 19.03

Ben: You're so frigid.

Ben: You can't just lead me on like that and then not respond when I send you a picture of my cock.

"What has happened here is that Ben as hit her with what we call the "Surpise Cock". It came out of nowhere. One minute they're talking about work and the next: WHAM! COCK ATTACK! Not many people can deal with the Surprise Cock." 

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