Everyone's a Nazi

Published on Thursday, 5 March 2015

There is now no one on planet Earth who is not a Nazi, new research has revealed.

Whilst most people think that Nazism was extinguished by World War II, data shows an exponential rise in the number of people being accused of Nazism from around the year 1995. Furthermore, according to data gathered from the comment sections of prominent news websites, it is estimated that by the end of the year 2014, every single person in the world was some sort of Nazi.

"Conservatives are Nazis, leftists are Nazis, liberals are Nazis, anyone concerned with public health is a Nazi, men are Nazis, feminists are massive Nazis, trade union members are Nazis, big corporations are run by Nazis, librarians are the worst type of Nazis, anyone employed in any job relating to road traffic control is an irredeemable Nazi, civil servants are Nazis, anyone with a concern for the environment is a Nazi, anyone without a concern for the environment is a Nazi; the list goes on", commented Professor Goering, who carried out the research.

The research found that the people most often called Nazis are feminists and traffic wardens. "One theory that goes someway to explaining this is that Heinrich Himmler escaped Germany after World War II with a number of SS members and set about patrolling the streets of Britain on the look out for the perpetrators of parking infringements and the perpetuators of patriarchy. Another theory is that a lot of people don't like abiding by laws designed to control traffic and are insecure about their feelings towards women", suggested Professor Goering.

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