If you decide to stay in this Halloween, you’ll have to stock up on party pack sized Haribo for the trick-or-treaters and hope that you don’t eat so many that you run out before 8pm. If you do run out of sweets, you’ll have to turn the lights off and pretend you’re not in because there is no way you are answering the door and handing out loose change to kids dressed as demons.
You’ll also have to deal with the trick-or-treaters who are only out to earn a few quid. They will stand as tall as you, wearing a scream mask, knife in hand and make no movement when you present them a bowl of Cadburys Celebrations and say “treat please, only take a couple.”
Your only real option this Halloween is to avoid it all and go to a fancy dress party. Here are the New Age Man’s picks for 2013: